She said she'd rather see me die than see me as a gay man. it hurts a lot coming from her. i dont have a father. What should i do? Should I stop myself from being who i really am so she'd accept me?
She said it's against God's law.....
Daoie: Well, I'm sure you are a believer in God, judging by your worry over "God's laws?"
Carry on. I'm pretty sure your mom said that because she doesn't think a gay man can ever be happy, successful and she doesn't want to see you hurt, that's all. Carry on with life, and show her who you are as an individual and not by your sexuality.
Sgt. Pepper: I completely understand. I am an atheist, while my mother is a pious saint. It comes down to this: You can sacrifice staying true to yourself, which may result in a 'better' relationship with your mother.....as for the other road, well, it's much more difficult, but well worth it in the end.
Being a homosexual is only one small part of who you are, it doesn't define your character. Choosing an alternative lifestyle is not 'wrong'. Your mom has to realize you are still the same person and accept you for the way you are. My amazing uncle was gay, I know many amazing gay people....honestly, it's not even really something I think about. Remember, this is NOT you, it's your mother.
My own mother is still in denial. She hasn't gotten over the shock of it, but I know that to be dishonest will only put a wall between us. Don't give up on her, no matter how tough things get. Put yourself in her shoes and try to imagine how she must be feeling, it's probably very hard for her too.
And if 'God' judges those by their sex life, not their character and actions, then such a god is not just or loving.
Rick: I know exactly what you're going through. My mother said almost the exact same thing to me when I was still in her house.
You just have to learn to not let anyone determine who you are but YOU. I know how hard it is to make it through life with parents hating every aspect of you, I really do. Lean on your friends and stick it out for just a few more years. You will have an amazing life. I promise.
AnttZ: No be yourself !
if my mom treated me like that i wud so rebel
not saying for u to do it
But never change who you are
you probably can make someone happy by being yourself
Craig: Great. One of those ... You have my deepest sympathies.
Get two resources:
1. Go to http://www.godmademegay.com and download "Letter to Louise" - it rebuts all the religious arguments. Hell, mail it to her if nothing else.
2. Get the book, Straight Parents of Gay Children, by Robert A. Bernstein. Just got this today and it's excellent - PFLAG kind of book.
Don't even think of embracing that hate filled life she insists on imposing. That is her problem, not yours. It will tear you apart. You should really tell her how much that hurts - and after you've read Letter to Louise, you'll be able to expose the lies of the religious right about how little the Bible actually says (six verses) about gay people. Remember that Jesus never said one word about gay people, and actually met one, the Centurion story, where he openly praises his faith.
Good luck. You've got your work cut out for you. I belong to an Episcopal church by the way, and if you want a religious life, there are plenty of great gay embracing churches out there. Just google "gay friendly churches" and your state or city. My mother really came around from "God hates that more than anything else" to being a part of my church and loving it, having left her own Baptist church very soon after I came out.Change is possible. Don't give up hope on her.
zactooh69: Ok, straightforwardness, that's what you get here. Your mother has no idea what she's talking about. Do tell her that she judging u like that is against God's law, pure and simple. And please DO NOT pretend to be something you are not simply because you feel the need to please someone else. Least of all your parents. Parents should know better, they love you for who you are. If she can't accept you for who you are, there are millions out there who do.
funny!: I've Taken Therapy classes.
i'v herd of situation like this but i never really got to get deep into them,
email me!
we could walk this through,
it really shouldn't matter to your mother on wut life you chose.
weather your gay straght or bi.
it's what you chose. and thats wut you like.
don't ever let nobody change you.
Ashille: I sympathize with you. Alas! that's the bitter reality for most gay people. Coming out isn't as simple and straight forward as seems to be!
It is such a pity that your mother said that you you. However, it's also true that you simply cannot be straight if you aren't!
Try and make your mother watch the movie 'Prayers for Bobby'. This is a wonderful movie where, the actor who happens to be gay, is rejected by his mother because being gay is "against God's law"! Can't remember well, but I guess she says those very things to Bobby that your mother told you: "I rather see you die than seeing you a gay man".
Bobby eventually commits suicide and then the mother realizes she was so wrong to have discarded her son...she rather had a gay son than no son at all!
Such a wonderful movie, if not for your mom, you can view it yourself!
Gary: That's not God laws shes quoting, its some BS church doctrine.
God loves you for who you are.
You live your live as you want, save your money and when you can get your own place.
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